Have you ever felt someone lose respect for you.  Like physically?  What about a room full of people?   Well it happened to me several weeks ago when I, in a total whatintheheckwereyouthinking moment, announced to my Sunday School class that I had just finished the Twilight series and was currently watching the movie every stinkin’ night while I rocketh the Bug-girl to sleep.  And that I thought the vampires were hot.  And that I painted my nails black for three months after watching The Craft back in college.

Yeah, once I start, there’s really no way to stop the flow of randomness from my mouth.

This also may explain why I don’t really have many friends.

All that to say, like a few other cool chicks I won’t name (but will certainly link to) I bigfatpuffyheart Twilight.  The books.  The movie (while not cinematic genius- the cast is spot-on and, well, hunky).  The soundtrack.  Love.  It.  All.

My new fave thing– TwiMamas.  It’s all you need to feed your Twilight addiction (what, I’m the only one addicted?) — pics, news, contests, even links to Etsy shops that sell Twilight themed stuff.  (Feel free to get me this for my birthday!)

My other fave — my new candy and my Sunday School bff who, while doesn’t have one iota of respect for my choice in literature, thinks I deserve cool candy.

Oh, and if anyone in my Sunday School class asks, I’m totally reading C.S. Lewis now.

Even back in college when I used to write short stories and poetry (the cool kind that didn’t rhyme), I never fancied myself a writer.  It was more of an emotion dump for me.  Fortunately (and yet, strangely enough, unfortunately), I haven’t been dumped in eons so I don’t really get the out the old notebook for a daily or even weekly dose of alliteration. 

These days find me with feelings of pride over a dinner that’s turned out to be both delicious and healthy, elation that Bug is walking all over the place, nervousness about potty-training Wog, frustration with not being able to find time to do a simple exercise DVD, ticked off ( -edness) because Wog woke Bug up from yet another nap, hope that maybe we’ll be homeowners soon,  and sadness that I missed One Tree Hill yet again. 

So, I blog. 

Because, really, who wants to hear a haiku about pee on my couch? 

**chirp chirp**

That’s what I thought.

I certainly don’t want to make fun of the swineflu.  I imagine it’s a scary thing to have it or for your kids to have it.  What I am tempted to make fun of, though, is all the hype.

I was half amused and half angry yesterday when a caller on a morning radio show, who described himself as a “medical professional”,  proceeded to tell us the super duper how to keep yourself safe precautions to take:  wash your hands for at least 20 seconds, use a teaspoon of antibacterial gel several times throughout the day, and minimize your contact with sick people.

Ummm, hold on!  Let me get a pen so I can write that down.

Then, said “medical professional quoted his “reports” that this swineflu epidemic will end up affecting 90% of the population.  90%.  Seriously?

If 90% of the population are not washing their hands after they french-kiss as many sick folks as possible, we have some much deeper issues to deal with.

Of course, that’s only one side of it.  I have two little ones, one of whom hasn’t been vaccinated against the flu.  I don’t really want to treat the whole thing so casually.  To be honest, there’s a small part of me that wants to board my whole family inside the house until the whole thing passes.  But isn’t that how the whole thing starts anyway… a bunch of pigs wallerin’ in their dirty little spaces?

I digress…

The point of this whole swineflu post was really just a lame excuse to present you with the single best invention I’ve ever seen in my entire life.   Seriously.  The best.  Ever.

Ladies & Gentlemen….

THE BACONE

Anyone game for heading to the next Baconcamp.?   Or perhaps there’s a serious need for Baconcamp-Birmingham.