Me!

It’s been 68 days since my last blog post.  Sixty. Eight.

 This was not an intentional “break”.  I had been mulling over the mediocrity that had become Will Blog for Shoes for some time.  I struggled with my direction.  My “brand”.  I had a lot of things inside that I wanted to write about.  Really write.  But I worried about the hodge podge-ness of it all.  Too much kids?  Too much God?  Too much lotion?

I know. The fact that I worried about “too much God” in my blog — well, I cannot even put into words how that makes me feel.  If you need me, I’ll be cowering in the corner, waiting for the locusts to arrive.

In the midst of all the things swirling in my brain to put on “paper”, there was this tugging in my heart:

“Shut up and listen!”

So I did.

I cleared out the space in my head that was constantly running on “this would make a great post” and I cleared out my Google reader.  I’m reading real books.  And my Bible.  And story books.  Oh, I’m still reading a few blogs here and there.  But with only four blog feeds in my reader and another two that I subscribe to by email, there is no looming mound of blog-chat that’s hanging over my head that I have to read.  (Yes, it’s silly to think that you have to read blogs, but if you’ve ever let your reader accumulate over 1,000 unread posts, then you know the kind heaviness it can add to your to-do list.)  Struggling to crank out a whole lot of meh while reading a whole lot of wow is makes one very weary. 

So, as I’ve shut my yapper [keyboard], I’ve opened my heart and mind to a lot.  There’s been a lot of navel-gazing.  The good kind.  The kind that begets self-improvement.

 (Pardon the use of the hokey term self-improvement, but it is what it is.)

I’m feeling a little wrecked by the whole process, but I like what’s happening.

So, why all these words on the computer screen if not blogging has been all that?

Because the clarity I’ve been afforded in these sixty-eight days has allowed to me to realize what this blog is and what it isn’t.  I am not a gifted writer.  I am not a snazzy marketer.  I started blogging because I thought I was a good mix of both.  I’m not.  But I have a heart.  And I started putting it here.  And no matter how much I became distracted by the razzle dazzle of big-time blogging and lost my way, some folks kept coming back and reading.  And commenting. 

Connections.

With my own thoughts.

With other people.

Me likey.

Me missey.

Once graduated, I moved back to my grandparents’ house, an hour away from campus and waited for this really handsome journalism major that I’d been eyeing my last two quarters to get some sense and ask me out.  Once he finally did, I decided it was time to search for greener career pastures in the big city, where my parents lived.  Mr. Journalism followed me a couple of months later.  I moved in with my parents and waited for Mr. Journalism to pop the question looked for a place of my own.  Two years later, Mr. Journalism changed his name to HH.  (I changed mine too.)  We sped away from the church, cans a-tinkling along behind us, to our very first apartment. 

Weary from all the years of  temporary, so very eager to settle down, I’m pretty sure I started spouting off the benefits of home ownership to HH as he was carrying me over the threshold of our little love nest. 

It took him seven years and two children to hop on board the house train. 

We saved. 
We searched. 
We selected. 

We waited. 
We stomped our feet. 
We cried. 
We fought.
We waited longer. 
We cursed. 
We dug in our heels. 
We waited some more.
We walked away.

Today, we start over.  

I feel beat down from all the energy wasted on this particular house.  I feel angry at the deception that went on and ill advice received.  I feel stupid for hanging on so long.  I feel disappointed that my kids are not going to grow up in this house that I’ve been envisioning for the last six months.

At the end of it all, though, it is just a pile of bricks.  My anger will subside.  My energy and excitement will emerge again. 

As the journey continues.
Slowly.

My collection is so much leaner than it used to be, but my desire is to have a small bag with only my tried and true favorites.  Currently, my contents can be divided into three categories.

Here to stay:
L’Oreal  Extra Intense Liquid Pencil Eyeliner Pencils in Brown & Gray
Maybelline Define-A-Brow Eyebrow Pencil in Light Blonde
L’Oreal Bare Naturale Concealor in Fair/Light (This isn’t my favorite for under-eye use, but it is a must for blemishes!)
Chanel Irreelle Blush in Mystery (Leftover freebie.  Not even sold anymore. Will take me a sweet forever to use it all.)
Tweezerman tweezers in Pink
Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler

Just Trying Out:
Complexion Perfection Kit by Smashbox (The mineral powder foundation and the concealor I was using just were not cutting it, so I splurged on the on this collection of trial sizes.  So far, so good.  Actually, I might madly in love with the primer.  The only problem is that I traded two products–mineral powder & concealer for four–primer, foundation, concealer, & powder.  That’s not exactly simplifying.
Ulta Professional Radiant Lift Concealer (This is a highlighter, not a concealer, and, as the associate told me, is a must for my tired mama eyes.  I didn’t want him to be right.  I didn’t want to add another weapon to my arsenal, but I can tell a huge difference.)

When It’s Gone, It’s Gone:
pixi Eye Beauty Kit in Miracle Velveteen (Discontined palette – I got 75% off!)
Bobbi Brown Mini Foundation Stick in Porcelain (Hated it as foundation, but it makes a tolerable eyeshadow base.)
Maybelline Define-A-Lash Volume Mascara in Brownish Black (It’s ok, you can read more of my thoughts here.)

I also keep a massive powder brush, concealer brush, eyebrow brush, three eyeshadow brushes (all-over, angled shaper, small structured one for my arches), a kabuki brush, and an old toothbrush (for my lashes) handy.  I have an embarrassingly large number of makeup brushes, but don’t have need for them everyday, so they stay in the bathroom.

So you’ve seen mine.  Want to peek inside the makeup bags of others?  Head over to Chic Critique and see.

I read of more and more families not doing Santa for the kids, in hopes to keep their Christmas more Christ-centered.  And, you know what?  I SO get it.  But for us, Santa just seems to fit.  You can read more of my thoughts on Santa over at Impress Your Kids.

Looks like we can add “skeptic” to the list, too:

Personally, I wouldn’t mind my own Christmas tree either. 

Maybe even my own forks.  

But, whatever.

Though my mom and I fluffed and straightened and Febreezed for what seemed like forever, I thought it would be a quick come in, snap a couple poses of HH reading on the couch and then it would be done.  My parents would be gone to Bible study, so I could easily keep the kids entertained with some play-doh and/or coloring books.

Wrong.

The photographer stayed almost two hours.  He was very pleasant and didn’t seem bothered that my 15 month-old stood staring at him the whole time.  (She’s a little intense.  And judgemental.) And he seemed quite interested in Wog’s Halloween candy and guitar playing skills.  He even invited Bug into a couple of shots.

I don’t think  he was prepared for the slingshot.  Or the massive gas-passing from my parent’s geriatric, not-so-miniature dachshund.  But, hey,  he works for the New York Times while living in Alabama.  I’m sure “Rollwithit” is his middle name.

The article turned out really good.  Surprisingly, it didn’t have the whole Look, folks in Alabama CAN read! slant, as I’d jokingly anticipated.

Click on over to see the article and feast your eyes upon the handsomeness that is my hubby.  It appears that Bug has made it to the big time as well.

Look at these swanky dessert plates!!  I won them over at Vintage Dutch Girl…like forever ago.  I only opened the box long enough to swipe a picture.  Then, I promptly sealed them back up, because, in case you haven’t heard…

I was supposed to be MOVING!!!!!

But, these pretty plates are still sitting in storage awaiting their debut, which it appears, sadly,  won’t be Thanksgiving.  I just could no longer bear not showing them off.  So, here they are.  You’ll just have to imagine them sporting the pumpkin pie.